


A Walk in a Forest

by Nemirovitch



Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (TV)
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Altered Mental States, M/M, Predicament Bondage, Tentacles, Vines, forests that probably want to eat you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-15 05:33:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16056560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nemirovitch/pseuds/Nemirovitch
Summary: A creepy forest trek for Napoleon and Illya. You wouldn't want to hang around there.





	A Walk in a Forest

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tish/gifts).



“I do love a walk in the forest,” Napoleon mutters sarcastically as Illya slashes away at the thick undergrowth ahead of them.

Illya wipes his brow and stops. “I think it would be quicker to climb up and swing from tree to tree.”

Squinting as he looks up, Napoleon tilts his head trying to see the tree-tops. “There's so much foliage up there, I've never seen anything like it. I can barely see the sky any more.”

“We have to push on, Napoleon. I don't want to still be in here when it gets dark.” Illya speaks softly as he checks the compass. Moving on, he balances himself on the slippery roots and undergrowth as he walks.

Napoleon checks his watch and glances around them, shaking off the thought that they're being watched. He follows close behind his partner in the eerie silence.

As they press on, Napoleon is conscious of the trees becoming thicker and more densely packed together. A chill hangs in the air, dampening the sounds as they move.

“Napoleon, the flashlight.” Illya pushes away a large fern as he points to a large, dark space in the hollow of a tree that blocks the way.

Napoleon reaches for it from his jacket, shining the light into the hollow. “I can just about see through to the other side. Maybe 20 feet?”

Looking up at the tall wall of trees along their path, Illya nods. “I'll take it. No handy branches within reach, even with a leg-up.”

They enter the hollow and slowly tread along the uneven surface. “Smells musty. Mushrooms,” Napoleon murmurs, sweeping the flashlight along their path.

Illya feels along the inside surface as he walks on. “Not edible ones, I fear. Strange, it feels as if we were moving down a slope?”

“Just a dip, it looks like.” Napoleon swings the light before them. There's a sharp snap as the tree floor collapses beneath them, sending them crashing below.

“A dip,” Illya mutters in the darkness as Napoleon fumbles for the flashlight.

“An unlucky dip, it appears.” Napoleon presses the switch on the flashlight and slowly shines it all around them. “Okay, not so bad. I'll give you a bunk-up, you scramble up and drop one of those long vines for me.”

There's no answer.

“Illya?” Napoleon shines the light at him. Illya's staring up, motionless so Napoleon nudges him. “Do you have a better plan, perhaps?”

“Dip,” Illya repeats, blinking his eyes. “Plan? What plan?”

“You get a leg-up, then drop a vine for me,” Napoleon repeats himself with a shrug.

Illya's rubbing his fingers against his palms, distracted. “Oh. Yes. Mushrooms.”

“You said they weren't edible, so dinner will have to wait.” Napoleon braces his fingers together so Illya can step up. As Illya gets a foothold against the tree, Napoleon moves to hold the light up to guide Illya's ascent.

Illya judges that he is about 10 feet below the tree floor and carefully inches his way up, following the light. After about 30 seconds climbing, he glances down, then back up. “Napoleon, either this tree has grown, or I haven't moved an inch.”

“What? You've gone at least 10 feet. You're almost there!”

Illya watches as Napoleon tracks the light across. “That's at least another 10 feet up, Napoleon.” He grumbles to himself and climbs on, moving a vine away as it drapes against his face. He estimates that he's climbed his own height again, when he feels something tugging at his ankle. Shaking it free, Illya makes to go up again. The vine seems to loop around his ankle again, staying there despite his shaking.

“Illya?” Napoleon sounds far away now. “I can't see you.”

“I think I'm stuck,” Illya admits with a slight blush.

“Illya? Can you hear me?” There's now a slight echo to Napoleon's voice.

Illya shakes his head, suddenly dizzy. He grabs onto a vine, a sudden fear gripping him. The vine snakes its way around his arm and he finds himself swung out and suspended in mid-air. Kicking out his free leg to try and find a foothold, Illya finds himself falling as the vines uncoil, freeing him.

He braces for a bad fall, knowing that broken bones can be deadly if Napoleon can't get out and find help. Something snags his ankle and he jerks to a stop, upside down. “Napoleon!”

A light suddenly appears in his face, moving up his body. “Well, there's a vine. That's a start.” Napoleon reaches up and pulls Illya down slightly, finding resistance just as Illya's face draws level with his own.

Illya reaches out his hand to stop from swinging around. It rests upon Napoleon's cheek and he feels it tingle and grow warm. Another vine drops down and taps against his shoulder, sliding down his body.

“Na-Napoleon,” Illya's breathing is heavy as he moves closer, the heat radiating from his body makes Napoleon a little dizzy and he licks his lips. Illya's lips find his and he hungrily kisses Napoleon, drinking him in.

Napoleon lifts a hand to Illya's cheek, the same hot, tingling feeling sending him wild with desire. He barely notices the vines wrapping around him until he's lifted up, face to crotch. More vines, slender ones with small suckers, wrap around Illya and Napoleon watches deliriously as they unzip Illya and pull out his cock. A deep moan comes from Illya as the vines work along his cock. He's dimly aware of being ensnared by more vines as an erection bulges against his pants. A vine frees his own cock and slithers around it, each tiny sucker sending a pulse through his cock. He feels Illya's mouth around his head and dives onto Illya's cock, not minding the slightly rubbery taste of the vine squeezing Illya's cock and balls.

Napoleon's entire world is reduced to sucking off Illya and surrendering to Illya's tongue with the help of the vines. There's a tiny piece of his mind that wants to fight it, to break free and escape this bizarre forest, but it's smothered by the dopamine levels sky-rocketing in his brain. He feels like his tongue has been working Illya's cock for hours, yet it's still rock-hard, and despite the depth of Illya's excited moans, there's no sign he's coming. Napoleon feels every bump on Illya's tongue, every tiny suckle of the vine, and each vibration as Illya chokes himself on his shaft. He feels as if he's in heaven, yet a tiny voice screams that he's in hell. His heavy breathing drowns everything out, there's only this moment drawn out forever.

Somewhere in the edge of Illya's mind, he feels the vines pulling them up and down in slow motion. He finds he can put a hand out, then another, then an arm around Napoleon's thigh. As they reach the ground, Illya lets his hand drop and scrape against it, not even thinking as he grabs hold of something. The vine in his mouth is now releasing a liquid that he sucks up hungrily. He can hear Napoleon shouting out something, muffled and far away.

The vines have lifted them up to the original floor of the hollow and Illya tightens his grip and swings his arm down. The machete slices away at the vines and now they find themselves crashing to the hollow. They're a tangle of bodies as they scramble free, and out the other side.

Illya looks unsteadily around for any stray vines, still wielding the machete. He stares at Napoleon, wordlessly, then down at their hyper-aroused cocks. “I don't know about you, but I don't think I can run like this,” he laughs.

“We'd better do something about that, then.” Napoleon is all smiles as he reaches over to finish the job. “I don't know what the hell happened back there, but I loved it.”

One hand still gripping the machete, the other around Napoleon's cock, Illya shudders with pleasure. “I could see us as dried-out husks locked together forever. Personally, I prefer a little more variety if I have to make love to you until the end of time.”

“I shall take great pleasure in taking you up on that once we get to a soft bed,” Napoleon says easily, adding a hard tug for emphasis.

Standing shakily, they rise up and look ahead. The forest has visibly thinned out before them and Napoleon can see an open area ahead in the distance. “I do love a walk in the forest,” Napoleon says dryly, as Illya practically runs ahead to get to the safety of the clearing.

 


End file.
